well it is prom time and i completly crushed my best friends heart because i am an idiot and cant read signals. but i feel completely bad because it is all my fault, and there is no way i can convince myself that it isnt. i mean i should have fun but i just feel bad cuz i chose gabe and now he is crushed because i didnt think he wanted to go. i am such a bitch like 1,000 times i thought i was. now i am sitting here crying and i dont know what to do. i need to leave myself. i want to be ugly so people will see me for what i am not for my looks. i need to get my head straght.
on another note it was my drumline banquett last night it was fun! well i am going to go shopping to try to make myself feel better or something. I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS!!!


I LOVE YOU~Amanda

well i am really lazy but i am planning on putting some new stuff on soon i swear. but any who my group got a 2 at solo and ensemble which is ok because i didnt want to go to states anyway. well one thing that isnt so good is AHP got second place in our first competition whish i guess is ok becaues the show wasnt done but i have never gotten second before.
today i missed my flute lesson it completely slipped my mind, ill have to jazz it up by myself for another week. i have been hanging out with my friend matt a lot lately it is fun. he is really a cool guy and an exclient writer. yeah so things have been going pretty good. i am still not sure what i want to do with my life. i have been thinking about teaching music a lot lately but i dont want to teach people that dont want to learn. oh well. i want to take this really cool picture or i hope it will be cool of this beautifull orchid at school that my friend is growing. i hope it turns out like i want it to.
i took magic mushrooms the other day and it was great. i felt so good and happy. i even got to see stars and moons on the ceeling.
i hope to be writing more soon i have been feeling emotion again.....that is another story all thgether. i dont know what to do with the whole relationship thing right now but oh well, i just need to take a chill pill. i will try to keep you guys updated on how the winterline season goes....if anyone gets a chance to go to a drumline show by like WGI i strongly suggest you go it will be like nothing you have ever seen before. it is so fun though they kinda start to become your family. you get to know everyone and i dont know about them but i spend more consectuive hours with them than my family. yeah i am a band geek. or something like that, damn drummers lol....well talk to you soon ~Ananda~

well i dont know i am in a weird mood lately. i still have no idea what is going on between me and gabe.on the plus side i have been getting out of my house, even though i am still kinda sick. OH we learned the rest of our music for winterline! my part sucks and it is actually really booring i hate it. i hope they change it soon to something harder. my trio for solo and ensamble is going well i guess....my sister and clayton really need to practice.

yesterday i had a great day! i went to rock and bowl with a friend of mine and we had a good time excpt for the horrific music they were playing the whole time. it was funny cuz they had a d.j. and he asked for requests so matt went up to give him one of the cd's we had to play and he was like we dont have time right after he got done saying come put in your requests!so then i went up there to try to get them to play sublime and he said that he just got back form a party where they didnt allow that kind or music.....he must have been at a nazi party. or one where you can only play crappy music that no one likes, country, or old music that you wish that their was a law so they couldnt play it.....but i guess that is what you get when you listen to a lot of underground bands

i am going to try to write some more....i have an idea for a really good picture but i need someone to take it for me, or show me how to work my camera...i just got my camera back and there is a new setting on it and it scares me!

ok so talk to you later.........someone should draw me a fairy if they are bored

well sereously i need a life, if anyone see one on e-bay for cheep just let me know!
but sereously i think i am going crazy! i have been thinking about how much i miss gabe ): i think he is mad at me and i have no idea why... on the plus side my life is bacically consumed by winter drumline, we are almost done learning our show music my part sux though it is like the harmony and it is sooo lame! i hope they make mine harder.
i got to hang out with evan! we had a crazy adventure, i was walking home from his house and i was going to go by myself but anyway, we were walking and this crazy ass dog came out and was like going to bite us and then this weird guy came out and was like "HEY" and had a pistol! it was totally insane, i was so freaked out but kinda calm at the same time.....i am a weird-o

well i know what is going on with gabe...we are no longer together, really i love him more than anything . i just wish we werent banned from each other, things would be so much different and better. i need to get over this whole thing!

>FREAKING OUT<

Well this time of year is usually very busy for me with winter drumline and all i proly wont be writing a journal but i think thes season will kick some fuckin ass! we are all learning 4 malletts it is so awesome and even better i am gonna be the section leader i am so geeked!, i will keep you guys updated on how we do on all our competitions, last year we were undefeted and this year our line is even better so who knows...love all
Amanda